Resolve That Conflict
Conflicts are an everyday occurrence, and can be said to be part of life. This is because in our day-to-day activities we necessarily have to interact with people whose interests are at variance with ours. The problem we face is that too many conflicts are resulting in bitterness, heartaches, broken relationship and wars.
By its very nature conflicts are often marked by disagreements and sometimes arguments. It is common knowledge that the issues that result in divorces between husbands and wives often start as little disagreements. Even the issues that escalate to wars among nations are often the result of unresolved disagreements. The truth is, we do not have to allow disagreement to become destructive. We can agree to disagree and yet live in peace with one another.
Now, conflicts do not just happen – they are the result of the interplay of several factors, top of which is a breakdown in communication. For an argument to actually become a conflict three stages are involved.
- Opposing viewpoints.
- Attacking the person or seeking revenge.
- Frustration and termination of relationship.
Understanding these different stages can prevent the situation from degenerating. You can resolve conflicts quickly and prevent them from going beyond the first stage. Unresolved conflicts can deter your progress, cloud your future and terminate your dream. One illustration of this is the interlocked horns of two deer displayed in an old monastery in Germany. They were found in that position many years ago. The deer had been fighting when their horns got jammed together and could not be separated. They died with locked horns. Said one historian, “I would like to take those horns to every house and school in the country.” And I would add, “…and into every office.” A wise man will never look for who is wrong; rather, he deals with what is wrong.
The truth is, there is no better way to resolve conflict than confronting the issues head on. From our text, you have to:
- Take the initiative. Someone must make the first move to resolve a conflict, and that person should be you.
- Do not get into an argument as this often heats up the issue.
- Be willing to listen.
- Admit when you are wrong, and apologize.
- Where you are the offended, be ready to forgive and be tolerant. That will necessarily mean giving up your right to resolve a conflict of interests.
- Maintain a gracious, gentle and patient attitude instead of becoming angry and defensive when someone disagrees with your point of view.
- Constantly pray for peace and unity with others, and ask for wisdom to handle differences.
- Involve a third party where you cannot resolve the conflict alone.
- Give the party concerned some space, where it is obvious that no resolution is possible, but pray that God will bring some good out of such a painful experience.
Now, one can understand why Jesus did not resist His arrest, cruel mocking and trial, and His crucifixion. Had He resisted, man would never be saved. So be ready to back down sometimes in order to go up. You do not always have to, but you may be required to. Humanly speaking, this may be difficult, but the virtue that surmount human problems are in most cases superhuman. That is why you need Him who has been rightly declared the Father spirits, the head of all principalities and who Himself declared, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth… Go therefore… In my name…” (Matthew 28:18-1 Mark 16: 15-18).Yield total control of your ii to Him. He will guide you aright and remove every stumbling block from your path. You will not falter or fail to connect your unlimited blessings as a result of conflicts, in Jesus’ name.